this is not a pitty partyjust so you all know, i'm not looking for sympathy.
i'm not looking for long, strong hugs, or long distance phone calls, or random visits intended to cheer me up, or baskets of fruit and cheese-like products.
i'm not looking for consolation, or pats on the back while crying into your shirt sleeve, ready to become snotty and damp.
i'm not looking for jokes well intended, anecdotes about the last time you got dumped, moments of empathy or sympathy or telepathy.
i'm just going to be sad for a while.
no, i don't really know how long.
and no, i don't really want to talk about it.
i don't want to answer your questions about what went wrong, who's fault it is, if i'm dating already (and no i'm not, it's been 6 hours - it might as well be 6 years already) do i need a kleenex, a hug (i just said i didn't need a hug before) or a kind shoulder to lean on.
let's see, where shall i start...since you're probably going to want to know what the hell i'm talking about anyway...well...
...since arriving in college, three years late and a whole universe behind in terms of how the world works, i fancied myself at times quite cute, precocious, some moments i was witty and i would even dare say, a borderline catch. as you can imagine, this kind of pious (ha) attitude got me exactly no where in terms of relationships. i had to come back down to earth. i also had a lot to learn about what women here in new york expect from their girlfriends.
there are certain facts that have made themselves painfully clear to me over the past 3 years. some of which i will touch on, but mostly, there's just one that stuck fast with me.
as it turns out, i'm just undateable.
the kind of girl, who for the time being, should never be pursued by anyone in their right mind.
for those of you inclined to respond strongly to reverse psychology, this is not an invitation.
it's a simple fact. a fact of science. a fact of nature. a fact of life.
until further notice, i am officially the world's most undateable woman.
you will fail to date me, if you try. i will succeed in charming you with my kind words, warm smile, winning personality.
[the facts: i am still in college at 24. pursuing a career (hopefully) in film and television upon my exit next may. have no car. have very little money.]
these will all be very charming, almost admirable traits you will grow to adore and revere as noble, humble and strong. in fact, it's almost lame. no, scratch that...it is lame.
to put it bluntly, women find me irresistable (and i use that term very losely and almost exaggeratively) until they find out that its very very very hard to see a girl who has no mode of transportation, no money with which to ride anything with the letters MTA or LIRR on it, and no time to work a job that pays more than $7 an hour.
after recently having been dumped for these reasons and a number of other, more complicated ones, i shall leave off with some advice.
don't date me. don't try. in fact, don't even read this blog anymore. don't know me, don't pretend to know me, don't pretend to have ever read this blog, and if you're an ex-girlfriend, i'm dreadfully sorry. i really am. | 
